AUTISM: Big Family Events – Helping Your Child Cope & Preventing Overwhelm

Let’s be honest - big events can be a big whirlwind for your child. There are so many out-of-routine new people and surprises, which can be a recipe for getting overwhelmed or melting down. Here are some ideas for helping our kids to be ready for the next big event and able to enjoy it.

Tip 1: Prepare your child for the big event whirlwind ahead.

The day before, walk your child through the schedule for the day. Ideally, write down the main things that will happen and approximate times. Remember to add smiley faces or draw some tiny pictures so it doesn’t look like a boring timetable.

Tip 2: Work out a secret signal

Help your child come up with a secret signal or codeword that they can use to let you know when they are starting to feel overwhelmed. We need them to use this signal before they actually hit the point of being overwhelmed. Check in with them regularly during the day and ask if they need to use the signal.

Tip 3: Plan breaks and downtime

Your relatives may not understand that your child can’t just sit at the dinner table for 2 hours listening to old people tell boring stories. They need time away from others. Plan that time with your child. It could be things like jumping on the trampoline, lying down on the couch listening to their headphones, playing a computer game, or taking the dog for a walk.

Tip 4: Have a backup plan

Things may not go to plan, and that is okay. Overwhelmed feelings happen. Meltdowns happen. Have a backup plan for if things just don’t go right. It could be having a movie and hand that you can put on for the kids, adding some extra toys or games in the car that you can bring out if you need them, or a plan to take your child to the park for a while so they can have some space to emotionally regulate a bit. When you know what your backup plan is, you will feel more confident.

Tip 5: Accept that your child will find things to be a bit tricky.